Departing queen of morning TV Fern Britten bravely stood behind her decision to give Sunn O)))’s Monoliths & Dimensions album the accolade of Record of the Year. Like British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Britten was caught on camera raising The Claw and declaring the album to be "the bollocks".
Given the power of daytime telly to sell anything from books to Viagra, only a guest appearance on Richard and Judy stands in the way of Sunn 0))) conquering the lucrative student and seniors market.
Despite this support for the Doom titans costing her her job, Fern stood firm. This has caused a schism between her and former colleague Philip Schofield. The silver-haired smoothy is known to be a passionate follower of True Kvlt Black Metal. Publicly he has kept silent on the affair, but a "source" told The Quietus that yesterday he raved: "trombones! On a doom record? This is heavy fucking metal, not Hooked on Classics!"
Have you seen any other celebrities raising in claw in anticipation of Sunn O)))’s new album Monoliths & Dimensions? If so, mail photographs to info@thequietus.com.