So, it’s been revealed that Mercury Prize Nominee Burial "the dark knight of Dubstep" is not a faceless hooded enigma who’s out to steal your soul or Fatboy Slim or Aphex Twin, or that guy who did ‘Babycakes’, or Jonathan King but indeed a rather ordinary looking young chap who actually preferred to remain unknown. It also turns out that Burial is not Luke Skywalker’s Dad, is not Richey Edwards from the Manic Street Preachers or a genocidal hypnotherapist from Belgrade, or even the true identity of Jack the Ripper. He’s just some geezer. Of course, none of this mattered to the ironically named Gordon Smart from The Sun newspaper, who this week put out a modern day bounty on the publicity shy chap, when even the most cursory search of the internet would have revealed that Burial quietly ‘outed’ himself via the Independent as early on this year as February. Of course while even expecting the cephalically challenged Mr Smart to even find his own anus with both hands and a GPS sat nav device is too much to ask maybe calling on him to actually research one of his own stories is perhaps over optimistic.
So to Will Bevan (for it is he) we can only say we’re sorry that it came to this and to add that we love your tunes, even the "rubbish" ones, as you call them on the Burial mySpace.
And to anyone who went to school, college etc with Mr Gordon Smart we’d like to ask, does this font of journalistic excellence have any skeletons in his closet? Does he wet the bed; does he cry after sex; does he cry during sex; does he wet the bed during sex; does he have a titanium plated septum? It’s all in the name of quality journalism. You can let us know at the following email address: info@thequietus.com.
While you are pondering that our friend Christina McDermott has produced a top ten gallery of other masked, hooded and otherwise shrouded figures from the music business whose real identities are either still not known or have actually proved to be a bit of a disappointment once revealed.
