Doctor Samuel JOHNSON’S Dictionary of the new Musick: A

Wherein popular Minstrels & divers Forms of Song are subjeckt to withering Definition & justly lampoon'd for the common LISTENER




Quarto of Vikings most obvious in Rhyming Couplets; yet most mysterious as to who is the FIT ONE

‘All Along The Watch Tower’

A jolly Ditty by light-heart’d Wit Mister DYLAN; soft in Tone, easy to play ‘pon the Lute & simple of LYRICK

Acid House

Repetitive Charivari typical of the far Principalities of Detroit & IBIZA; much improv’d by Ether & LAUDANUM

Aphex Twin

Shadowy Will o’ the Wisp who does torture the Ears through Experiments in MUSICK

Adam and the Ants

Vile Band of Dandies & Highway-men who thus deserve naught save the Scaffold & the GIBBETT

‘Angel Of Death’ by Slayer

A grave Exploration in Song of the Depths of human Cruelty; a great Influence ‘pon fellow Diabolists BE-WITCH’D

‘Are "Friends" Electric?’

Philosophickal Question pos’d by silvery waxen Golem Mister Gary NUMAN

‘Abacab’ by Genesis

Musickal Cross-road whereat Mister COLLINS’ Trio of Minstrels turns from a favour’d Act for STUDENTS to a favour’d Act for MERCHANTS

‘Autobahn’ by Kraftwerk

Prussian Inhumanity that does stretch Mister Benj. FRANKLIN’S Investigation into Electrickity for two & twenty MINUTES

Alice Cooper

Once fearsome Performer from the Colonies who now draws a Pension and ekes out his Twilight years in divers Comedies & ADVERTISEMENTS

All Writing & Ideas therein are the Creation of Mister Tom MORTON, who does write for Mister NEATE of The Quietus, yet does reserve the Right to use said Writing in divers Publickations in Future.

Follow Dr Johnson on Twitter via @DrSamuelJohnson

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