Iron Maiden: Officially Bigger Than Beethoven

Finds obscure yet righteous Classic FM chart

Hey, you! Have you ever wondered how the good and great composers of time gone by shape up in terms of physical stature besides British metal icons Iron Maiden? No? Well, start wondering… and then stop: Classic FM have done the maths and produced the above chart, slotting in the various Maiden members in between the diminutive Romantic Edvard Grieg and towering piano maestro Sergei Rachmaninoff.

The Quietus would like to suggest a few additions to the parade, namely weedy-yet-apparently-not-that-weedy Autotune lank James Blake (6 ft 5"), alternative rock’s resident beanpole Thurston Moore (6 ft 6") and frequent cloud botherer Jim Sclavunos (6 ft 7"; see below. A reliable source tells us the height increments are in metres). Make it happen, Classic FM.

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