It’s good to play women-only shows
I like girls. A lot. And rock’n’roll kinda forgot about the ladies. Part of the sexiness of rock’n’roll – and even Little Richard knew it – was girls. It’s not about gay or straight, it’s about pretty things having a good time. And you can’t say you actually appreciate women without actually trying to play to them. Teddy Pendergrass did a Women-Only show and by God, I’ll do one too!
And women are interesting. Women are like Toy Story. When the adults go to sleep, the toys come to life and when there’s no boys to impress and without any of that shit that goes off with any kind of social interaction between the sexes, women become different kind of animals. Something drops, a veil or something drops and they become aggressively horny and really crazy and weird and it’s cool, you know?
Rock’n’roll IS sex. That’s why it’s called rock’n’roll
Little Richard is the direct source for rock’n’roll. I mean, half the first Elvis album is made up of Little Richard songs and that’s kinda telling. But Little Richard sang all kinds of great songs but he was also controversial. What do you think a fucking Bald-headed Sally is? It’s not a girl! It’s not! I know what it is and not many people do but you have to know what it is to know what it is. Aunt Mary? Aunt Mary, for God’s sakes?! I know a couple of Marys; they’re friends of mine and they ain’t women either, you know what I’m saying? Uncle John? That song’s about a dude in the alleyway with a fucking hooker who’s a three-legged lover. That’s it and it’s beautiful. But it’s also controversial and it never forgot about women at the same time. Freddie Mercury never forgot about women.
Have a good time all of the time
We try not to take ourselves too seriously ‘cause we wanna keep on doing this and we enjoy every minute of it, man. We don’t wanna be corrupted by a sense of entitlement but the band is more of a philosophy than it is a band. And the philosophy is: “Relax. It’s OK to have a good time.” There’s no fucking rules.
Eagles of Death Metal draw a substantial female audience
That is so rad! It’s like they’re finally getting the message. It’s awesome! I honestly and directly appeal to women and I write songs for girls, I really do. I have a great mom. I’m one of those old fashioned “I love my mom and she’s my best friend” types and I wanted to write songs that my mom could listen to. I don’t know how you like your biscuits but nobody I know likes them limp. I just felt like it was time to punctuate the little women and say, ‘Let’s rock and have a good time!’, you know?”
Choose your trousers well for dancing with the ladies
Tight pants are critical to sexy dancing. You have to become a UPS man; you are advertising that you have a package to deliver. That’s what dancing’s about. You know, it’s like, ‘Why don’t Baptists make love standing up?’ ‘So no one will think they’re dancing!’ You know what I mean? That’s what dancing’s all about, baby! It’s all about getting down. So tight pants are critical. I mean, check out John Travolta’s pants in Saturday Night Fever. They were tight around the crotch and free flowing around the legs for dancing but sometimes those angel flights got a little too much for me.
Pasadoble? The tango? The sexiest dance is…
…the chest-to-chest, rockin’ back and forth. The ultimate slow dance. And that’s it. The most romantic dance is the flamenco. I’ve watched that a lot.
The importance of sexy facial hair
Facial hair kinda lost out in that great sacrifice that came in the 80s when punk rock swept in; it was fuckin’ stupid. I’ve had this moustache for so long that I can’t imagine what I’d look like without it. It seems to me that I’ve got so much hair growing outta my face for a reason. It’s almost impossible to shave this shit. I ruined my face today trying to shave and it takes three disposable razors for me to shave. Obviously, the Good Lord wanted me to have a moustache. Or the Devil. Who knows? But clearly, this ain’t no fuckin’ Bible Study class!
Sexiness is something we can all attain but you can’t fake it
Natural sexiness doesn’t have to be present at birth, in my opinion. I was never like this before. I was about 50 pounds heavier, I had a full beard, was married, square, I went to church every Sunday and I never in a million fuckin’ years thought I’d be doing this. But it is actual to me and I don’t think you can fake anything. I don’t think you can just put on a ‘rock outfit’. There’s a million different ways to achieve things but in my opinion there’s only one right one: you can’t fake the funk. If it looks like an Indian and it smells like an Indian then it ain’t fuckin’ John Wayne and that pretty much dictates how shit goes.
If you’ve ever seen The Howling when the newscaster turns into a werewolf, that looks fuckin’ painful and that’s what it felt like to me when I went into rock’n’roll. It was about an eight-month process of losing weight, finding drugs, getting skinny, losing everything in a divorce and then losing my mind. My friend Joshua Homme came to check up on me and we wrote a couple of songs and here I am and that’s how it happened.
Rock’n’roll saved my life. It really, really saved me but it seems that this is where I was always meant to be. Like, the Lord had this plan but it didn’t include any of my college dreams!
A little works yields great dividends
Ladies require a greater investment and intelligence. Ladies are interesting. If you basically find out some accurate information about the relationship they had with their father, and you find how they spent the years between 11 and 15, then you can almost get away with anything.
Girls with bad relationships with their fathers who were not present between the ages of 11 and 15 will probably do anything you want to do and will then come back for more. Girls with really strong relationships with their fathers – daddy’s girls – they’re tougher eggs to crack but when you do, they’re the dirtiest, filthiest bitches you’ll ever find. They love doing it and not because they’ll do anything to make you stay, they just like it!
Live pic courtesy Shot2bits.net
