If Sean Reynard’s life were to be summed up by the cover of Penthouse and Pavement by Heaven 17, it wouldn’t say Sheffield – Edinburgh – London in italics under the band name but St Helens – Sydney – Berlin – but mainly St Helens. Glenn Gregory would be sporting a large moustache and a flat cap. And Ian Marsh would be speaking into an exceptionally large 80s car phone. And Martyn Ware would be wearing a pink leotard. Except – and this is important – his life wouldn’t be summed up by this album but rather the sleeve of The Village Lanterne by Blackmore’s Night. Possibly Under A Violet Moon but not Ghost Of A Rose.
Here are some of his films concerned with disagreeable fops, nut allergies, bullying Russian Yes fans, slap bass playing mothers and the potential social horror of Mike Oldfield.
1. Anaphylaxis
The tragic story of a man who against his health persists in consuming nuts due to his overwhelming fascination with keen vegetarian and nut promoter Kate Bush.
2. Bedridden
A man tortured by dreams from his past. Scenarios of intimidation and bullying carried out by his school friend’s Father build into a stifling cacophony of foreboding imagery. This man has haunted him to the present day.
3. Mam
A nagging mother with a facial hair problem in her kitchen complaining and moaning about her bone idle son.
4. Kitchen Sink Opera
A cyclic portrayal of myself having a stream of bad luck, from the minute I wake up (late) until my last breath (death).
5. No
A young insecure adolescent becomes intimidated by two older Russian Yes fanatics.
6. 79 – 97
Ben receives a letter from the library informing him the Black Sabbath book he reserved is now available. This excites him a great deal but then a wave of depression submerges him as he finds the biography dates 1979-1997 (the post Ozzy Osbourne years).
7. Fit For Jesus
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8. Do You Know There’s A Baby Next Door?
After an hour or more of tolerating thudding bass guitar from the upstairs bedroom, I crack into a frothing rage and put the bloody racket to a stop!
9. A Veritable Logorrhea
Two 18th Century aristocrats make their obligatory annual perambulation around the palace grounds of Mr Liptrott. After enduring a tirade of indulgent ranting from Liptrott, Mr Dewsnip breaks his silence and thrusts forthright with emphatic merriment as he witnesses the perfect spot to undertake his portrait of the ungracious Liptrott.
10. Tubular Bells
A couple eating their evening meal listening to Mike Oldfields Tubular Bells. After making a sweeping statement about the music he finds it asphyxiatingly impossible to justify his comment.
