Baker's Dozen

Artists discuss the 13 records that shaped their lives

10. Don RicklesHello, Dummy

…chosen by Statler & Waldorf

STATLER: As a rule, we hate everything, including this magazine
WALDORF: What kind of name is Quietus? Sounds like some sort of sleeping sickness.
STATLER: Sleeping! What great idea! Zzzzzzzzzzz
WALDORF: Not now, you old fool.
STATLER: What? Huh!? Where are we?
WALDORF: They want to know the name of our favorite album.
STATLER: Hello, Dummy
WALDORF: Oh yeah? Well, hello dummy to you too!
STATLER: No, that’s the name of the album – Hello Dummy – by Don Rickles.
WALDORF: Oh Rickles! What a genius! He made his entire career out of insulting other people!
STATLER: Hey, that’s what we do..
WALDORF: Yeah, but Rickles was smarter than us.
STATLER: How?
WALDORF: He got paid for it. Do-ho-ho-ho!!!!!

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