12. The CureDisintegration
I was probably about 17 [when I first heard it] and this one for me is very much about falling in love. I didn’t realise for ages how much it must have influenced me because of the phasey synths, the layers of phasey guitar, the romance and the gloominess and depression, but within that depression there’s always those bursts of euphoria and that sad/happy line. In music I tend to really enjoy the sad/happy dichotomy; they’ve been put together and it breaks your heart but you love it at the same time. You want to cry but you want to smile, and I think really hearing phasey guitars, massive intros, really lush, long droning synths, and Robert Smith for me, on ‘Lullaby’, it’s just such great storytelling: "Quietly he laughs and shaking his head / Creeps closer now, closer to the foot of the bed". It’s just like weird, dark, gothic literature or weird Roald Dahl stories or kids’ stories about adult anxiety but told through Charlotte’s Web-like fables and storytelling. ‘Untitled’ has harmonium and stuff and then it kicks into massively reverby drums, quite shoegazy, and ‘Disintegration’ is such a great song, I absolutely love it, and there’s loads of really long intros where he just sings at the end and when you hear him yelping, "yeeeeah!". I felt like him and Björk at the time were both really exploring feral, expressive vocal sounds – and I think Robert Smith is a really underrated vocalist, not even underrated but I think he’s like [mimics Robert Smith] and it’s really free and endearing, just very unique I think.
