Escape-ism – Rated Z

A real return to form from Svenonius. I had the honour of performing alongside Ian and his partner Alexandra Cabral last Halloween at a decrepit lido down in Margate. I’d only been booked to DJ, but figured I’d get my elder brother to man the decks and drop some Decius beats while I took to the stage with a microphone. Despite having lifted roughly 32 per cent of my on-stage persona from Ian at the onset of Fat Whites ten years ago, I’d never seen him actually do his thing live. The pair were mesmerising, consummately professional, reductive in all the right the places, effortlessly sexy. I was due up on stage an hour after they’d finished their set. I got over-excited. I felt deeply intimidated. I tried to take the edge off and ate a load of mushroom chocolate, figuring this would help me locate ‘the zone’ once on stage. My big bro dropped the first tune. The deck had been left on double speed. I started strutting about, wailing like a goat mid-garrotte over this manically over-paced backing track. I hadn’t gone through the set with my brother beforehand. Just play it loose, I kept telling him. At the first opportunity he ditched the Decius idea, or simply couldn’t be bothered to find the beats on the USB. I was left ambling around onstage in a white suit utterly mystified as to what was going on. My big brother’s crowd-pleasing EDM throbbed away relentlessly behind me. I stumbled over to the deck to try and get the show back on the road, to reclaim control of the situation. I might as well have been trying to pilot a space shuttle. I deserted the stage after ten minutes and began fathoming a set of excuses. I still haven’t forgiven my brother.