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REPORT: The JAMs In Liverpool, Day Three
Patrick Clarke , August 26th, 2017 04:05

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu have completed their Merseyside takover, with a little help from Jarvis Cocker. Patrick Clarke reports back one last time...

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, aka The KLF, have completed their rabid three day takeover on Merseyside, entitled Liverpool, Welcome To The Dark Ages.

The third day saw the 400 'volunteers' gathered at The Florrie, a community venue in Toxteth, a residential inner city area of Liverpool. Each had their face painted in a skull-like pattern as part of a planned ritual, titled 'The Toxteth Day Of The Dead'.

After a short delay due to a fire alarm, the 400 were gathered in a church-like room on the second story of the Florrie, for the 'Rites of Mu'.

A film was projected onto three portrait screens, which saw the pyramid on the front cover of the 2023 novel transform into The Shard in London, with which it shared similar dimensions. Eyes were displayed atop the structure, which at points transformed into segmented pieces of fruit. Other scenes saw the face of Yoko Ono appear in the likeness of the Starbucks logo (a common theme), nuclear bombs falling on London, space shuttle launches, and microscopic footage of sperm and eggs.

Subsequently, two undertakers named Callender and Callender took the stage and performed a bizarre reading relating to an ancient figure representing death, named Papa Legba. The crowd were told at length about the inevitability of their demise.

The inaugural 'Toxteth Day Of The Dead' was announced, and the crowd was informed that it would take place once more on November 23 2018, and annually thereon.

It was announced that a new funereal company had been formed, named 'Callender, Callender, Drummond and Cauty'; 'The KLF have entered the funeral business', declared an announcer.

The process of 'Mumufication' was then described, which involves devotees committing to having their ashes poured into bricks after their death. At the first Toxteth Day Of The Dead after their deaths, these bricks will be added to a structure in Toxteth named 'The People's Pyramid', which will be built gradually over the next many dozens of years until it reaches 23 feet in height.

Then, a procession of two coffins began, and a choir of robed figures assembled onstage, one of which was revealed to be Pulp singer Jarvis Cocker. Cocker led the crowd in a song, adapted from 1991's KLF track 'Justified And Ancient'. A repeated refrain 'All Bound For Mu Mu Land' was repeated until the 400 had cleared from the room.

Next, a three mile procession began, beginning at The Florrie and ending at the derelict Bramley-Moore dock. Some volunteers were ordered to pull the ice cream van in which Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty were sat, while others scattered flowers and more were assigned to stop traffic. Local residents reacted with various emotions, from bafflement to amusement to annoyance.

The parade continued through the city, and was at times confronted by the Merseyside Police Force, but eventually made its way to the derelict dockyard.

There, a 23 foot high wooden pyre had been assembled in the shape of a pyramid, with the volunteers forming a circle around it. The two coffins, previously used as part of the ritual at The Florrie, were added to the pyre and burnt.

Bricks were sold at a price of £99 each. Attendees prepared to part with such an amount of money were told that their funerals were henceforth taken care of.

The 400 were then invited in to the Invisible Wind Factory, a music venue across the road from the Bramley-Moore dock. Badger Kull performed their one and only gig, a three minute set consisting of one song: 'Toxteth Day Of The Dead.'

Volunteers were invited to collect their 'certificate of graduation', signed by the JAMs themselves, although before long Jimmy Cauty was nowhere to be found. Those whose certificates are yet to be signed were told to seek the KLF tomorrow morning.

Read the rest of our coverage of The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu in Liverpool:

Day One
Day Two