A Mancunian pensioner embarrassed himself earlier today in a queue for the tills in his local Spa, located in Wythenshawe.

On spotting some teenagers he tried to engage them in conversation about drum and bass, only to be told that this genre of music had reached obsolescence before they had even been born.

Mr Morrissey of Arundel Avenue then started rapping verses from MC Tunes' 'The Only Rhyme That Bites' in an attempt to win the youths over but this just provoked cruel laughter.

The scene then descended into chaos after his hayfever started acting up and while in a watery eyed daze knocked a display of Cillit Bang over.

Please help this frail and confused gentleman to regain some of his former dignity by tweeting and retweeting the following message of hope: #MorrisseyIsADickhead