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Replacements For Oasis Announced
John Doran , August 29th, 2009 11:11

The pop charts, like nature, abhor a vacuum and jockeying to replace Oasis as the world's top rock & roll band has already begun. The Quietus had a look at the odds currently being offered by William Hill on who will take the Mancunians' crown.

100-1 That Fookin' Tank

Smart-arse Leeds noiseniks might prove a bit too abrasive to become Q cover stars just yet.

90-1 Our Kill It Kid

Mixing alt. country, torch songs, cosmic American folk and not an air-brushed pudding cut between them, this bunch are rank outsiders.

85-1 Fook Buttons

Back when Oasis started Noel was a keen observer of dance music and this duo's grungy Balearic feel might provoke a favourable Pavlovian response in some.

48-1 P.W.Longsight

Despite being an Armenian, P.W. plays proper blues music on a genuine guitar. However, his chances have been damaged by dangerous flirtation with beards.

31-1 Manfred Manc's Earth Band

This is more like it - proper fookin' music. Wait up - what's up with that cunt's beard?

20-1 MONO(brow)

Proper spiritual music and not at all like the tunes they play in a mental hosi to keep everyone sedated.

18-1 The Mad For It Professor

Getting your laughing tackle round this spliff lad etc.

12-1 Tav Falco's Panther Burnside

I'd always wondered what Tav Falco sounded like. Now I know.

5-1 RadioBonehead

Bring Bonehead back. Every band needs an ugly geezer like Bonehead or Trevor Boulder from the Spiders From Mars.

2-1 favourite: Ride

Now that they've gone, can we have Ride back please?

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