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Bono Gets Permission For New Boiler
Ben Hewitt , July 9th, 2009 11:02

We wouldn't want him getting cold, would we?

The Quietus assumed that Bono would be permanently warm and cosy due to his King Kong sized carboon footprint and fuel-burning antics, but the U2 singer has just received permission to build a new room in his house - just so he can install a new boiler.

In a leak in no way related to previous reports about U2's pollution spewing world tour, it has been revealed that the singer has been granted permission from Dun Laoghaire Rathdown co council to build a new 53 sqm room to house the new wood-pellet boiler.

The new boiler will use advanced microprocessors to control the amount of fuel and air being supplid, resulting in extremely high efficiencies (up to 90%) and ultra-low emissions.

Council officials recommended that permission be given to the proposal, and with the deadline for objections now expired, Bono is free to start building plans and heat up his house - efficiently - as much as he wishes.