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Film Reviews

Cinematic Santas - The Least Convincing And Naughtiest Santas on Film
The Quietus , December 18th, 2008 09:51

In the spirit of humbuggery, The Quietus looks at some of the worst excuses for Santa ever to disgrace the silver screen, and provides Top Trumps-style stats on their performance. Whether they're slightly implausible or just plain evil, this bunch is a disgrace to the ruddy uniform.


A Christmas Story - Commercial Santa
Although largely unknown in the UK, A Christmas Story is required viewing in America and rightfully so. Set in the lead up to Christmas, the narrator recalls his childhood in the late '40s living in a dysfunctional and poor family. The film is incredibly heartwarming while simultaneously dismantling Hallmark Card illusions about the 'American Dream', Christmas and the manic optimism that dominated domestic life in the post war years. This is summed up by the monstrous department store Santa who answers the boys wish for a BB gun by echoing his parents answer "you'll shoot your eye out" and kicking him down a fun slide.

Ambiance of winter lair: 9/10
Firearms policy: 10/10 - Zero Tolerance
Customer service: 0/10