The Quietus - A new rock music and pop culture website


Jarvis Cocker's Songwriting 101 And The Worst Lyrics Ever . . .
John Doran , October 10th, 2008 18:19

Recently at In The City, Jarvis Cocker proved the main attraction with his lecture on lyrics. Here is our guide how not to write 'em . . . featuring Bob Dylan, Bono, Morrissey and more.


The Cranberries – various songs
"To all the parents with sleepless nights
Sleepless nights
Tie your kids home to their beds
Clean their heads"

(From 'Salvation')

This alarming sentiment from To The Faithful Departed reminds one that The Cranberries are the lyrical equivalent of a dog turd in a burning paper bag on your doorstep and probably deserve an entire feature of their own. .

"It was the fearful night of December 8th
He was returning home from the studio late
He had perceptively known that it wouldn't be nice
Because in 1980 he paid the price"

No matter what you feel about John Lennon, he surely deserves better than this!

"In your head, in your head, they are dying!"

Well, in reality as well, when it comes down to it.

If you love our features, news and reviews, please support what we do with a one-off or regular donation. Year-on-year, our corporate advertising is down by around 90% - a figure that threatens to sink The Quietus. Hit this link to find out more and keep on Black Sky Thinking.