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Jarvis Cocker's Songwriting 101 And The Worst Lyrics Ever . . .
John Doran , October 10th, 2008 18:19

Recently at In The City, Jarvis Cocker proved the main attraction with his lecture on lyrics. Here is our guide how not to write 'em . . . featuring Bob Dylan, Bono, Morrissey and more.


Devastatin' Dave – 'Zip Zap Rap'
Devastatin' Dave – 'Zip Zap Rap'

"Rip dibby zap, da zip dap du wap,
This is what I call the Zip Zap Rap
Hichichichy be back in a sec,
Zippy zippa zappa gonna spend your whole check,

Zip dip zap, a zip wit a wabbit,
Zippy dipa wippa got a cocaine habit,
Scooby dooby bip a zip bop blam,
It started with a quarter now it is a gram,

Zoom zoom with a Scooby doo bop,
Buy yourself into projects you're tryin' to cop,
Rip and a rap I wrote with a rhyme,
I think you better call the cocaine hotline,

Zip dippa wip, you call them on the phone,
A zippa dippa wip but yo habit aint gone,
It's been flip flop days and you haven't ate,
I could see it in your face you were losin weight

Rip rap rop smoking back to back,
Zippa dip wip and you had a heart attack
From playin baseball like Willie Mays,
Had you in that hospital for thirty days,

Flip flop flam but now you're back,
A zippa dippa wip in your new Cadillac,
Hah, chichicha, like choking on a bone,
Zippa rippa rap you gotta leave them drugs alone"

Is it the best rap or the worst? We're not entirely sure.

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