The Quietus - A new rock music and pop culture website


Jarvis Cocker's Songwriting 101 And The Worst Lyrics Ever . . .
John Doran , October 10th, 2008 18:19

Recently at In The City, Jarvis Cocker proved the main attraction with his lecture on lyrics. Here is our guide how not to write 'em . . . featuring Bob Dylan, Bono, Morrissey and more.


Gorerotted – 'Can't Fit Her Limbs In The Fridge'
"My doting wife I tried to please her
So I hacked her up and put her in the freezer
I wouldn't let her leave me so she tried to strike out
I hit her with a hammer she was dead with one swift clout
I once used ice to gently tease her
Now it surrounds her in the freezer
Put next to lollies and packets of peas
No room in my fridge 'cause it's full of her (Barcardi) Breezers
I've had to keep her in the freezer"

You shouldn't laugh. And we're not.

If you love our features, news and reviews, please support what we do with a one-off or regular donation. Year-on-year, our corporate advertising is down by around 90% - a figure that threatens to sink The Quietus. Hit this link to find out more and keep on Black Sky Thinking.