Drum & bass DJ Grooverider has spoken to the BBC about the time he spent in prison in Dubai. Grooverider was released in August after serving just months of a four year sentence for possession of cannabis. Don't take drugs into places like Dubai, you tit.

Speaking about the prison in which he was held, Grooverider complained, "They don't have toilets, they have holes in the ground. There's eight people to a cell and they do treat you alright don't get me wrong but it's just horrible seeing so many people come in for nothing." One wonders if the Dubai equivalent of the Daily Mail runs pieces condemning the lenient treatment of lags.

However, Grooverider says that the worst part of his incarceration was being separated from his family: "It was the worst part missing my girl grow up for the last year," he said. "I talked to her at Christmas and she was in floods of tears and that wasn't the easiest thing to deal with. I didn't even recognise her because she'd grown a foot." Did she not have one before? Arf.