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Black Sky Thinking

Black Sky Thinking: Death to Corduroy
Steven Wells , April 11th, 2008 16:13

Dull American music mags are dying in droves, and Steven Wells cares not one jot. Hark as he dances around the bonfire in joy...

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OMG it’s the indie mags. Man, it’s some kinda horrible virus. They’re lying in piles in the corners. Shaking like shitting dogs, coughing up their vile pink froth corrupted lungs. It’s horrid, absolutely horrid. It’s as if some hideous mass-murdering heavy metal psychopath had concocted an air-borne virus that only killed those who like unchallenging and comfortably conservative guitar music made by white guys. Oh the horror. Oh the humanity. What’s on TV?

Be serious. Show some empathy. Middle of the middle of the middle of the road US indie music mag Harp (slogan: “For nice chaps with beards, by nice chaps with beards” ) has just double-dropkicked itself in its own incredibly unremarkable and unmemorable face and dropped down dead.

Oh no. Harp is the third unreadable and entirely interchangeable US indie print mag to traumatically poop its hand-knitted cheesecloth colostomy pants in as many months. January and February saw the demise of the spectacularly interestingly named No Depression and Resonance magazines. Both, like Harp, not so much the spunky young inheritors of the revolution-spewing underground press of the late 60s and early 70s, as part of a beige coloured and willfully underachieving fan/muso mutual masturbation industry that’s been slowly and dismally choking on its own vomit for years.

Imagine all those whining epsilons who have"over the decades"bemoaned the fact that music journalism isn’t more “about the music,” imagine if those idiots actually started their own magazines.

Dude, they did...

...The full version of this article is available in Point Close All Quotes: A Quietus Music Anthology. Buy it now in the Amazon Kindle store.

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