"I've got a present for you," growled Franz Treichler on 2000's 'Astronomic'. "I've got a present for you - the future, the future…".

It's a promise the Young Gods have more than come good on over the past quarter of a century. The sampler, not the guitar, has been the band's weapon of choice (even though Treichler is a classically-trained guitarist). After all these years, they are still masters of sculpting colossal slabs of abstract noise, rocking avant-hard.

I chat to Franz on the day the band are playing their one London date of 2013, a set drawing on their magnificent first two albums, The Young Gods and L'eau Rouge. Time is severely limited – due to heinous flight delays, the band haven't eaten "since Berlin". Luckily, Franz talks very-very-very-quickly indeed, yet with utmost precision - we hurtle through his 13 albums like one of the more jet-propelled Young Gods tracks.

So, before he heads off to Thai Square - maybe for a l'eau rouge chicken curry? - Franz and the Quietus feast on an incredibly varied musical menu, with plenty of surprise dishes. The Young Gods take their name from a Swans' track, but there's no Gira on the list ("I've spoken about Swans quite a lot over the years"). Plus, despite sampling the greatest composers, there are no classical music choices - "I thought about that – maybe you could put Stravinsky's Firebird as a bonus choice?"

Among the matters resolved are how Bertolt Brecht helped invent pop music, the importance of Ringo Starr and how to teach yourself English the Jim Morrison way. So click on the choices below to discover how the future's meant to feel…

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