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Anaal Nathrakh: Pandemonic Marketing
John Doran , November 4th, 2012 04:51

SEND THIS FUCKING CD TO ME WITH A WARHEAD ATTACHED TO IT!!! FUCKING DIE!!

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The world's most consistently impressive, thought provoking and exciting extreme metal act are also winners in a completely unexpected field: marketing.

Someone who works for the band's label Candlelight in the States obviously feels the same way about Vanitas, their new album, as we do. So instead of doing anything lame like describing what the music sounds like or who mastered the tapes for vinyl or whether anyone from Lawnmower Deth makes a guest appearance on tambourine or what formats it's available on, this person cuts straight to the chase of capturing the excitement that the release of a new Nathrakh album causes, by having some kind of apocalyptic Mayan death cult style nervous breakdown.

The full missive, sent out via their facebook page last night reads like this:

Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! RIP MY FUCKING HEAD OFF AND USE IT AS A FUCKING KICK BALL, THEN STICK IT IN A FUCKING CANNON AND SHOOT IT INTO FUCKING OUTER FUCKING SPACE!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! MY HEAD WILL HIT AN ASTEROID AND REDIRECT IT TO THE EARTH!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FACE AND BRAINS AND FUCKING HAIR WILL MOLD AND MELT INTO THE FUCKING ASTEROID THAT IS NOW SPEEDING TOWARDS THE FUCKING MISERABLE PLANET FAIL FUCKING EARTH AND RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!!Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! SEND THIS FUCKING CD TO ME WITH A WARHEAD ATTACHED TO IT!!! FUCKING DIE!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! FUCKING RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Products

1 x (PREORDER) Anaal Nathrakh - Vanitas (cd) (CDL520) = $10.00

Sub-Total: $10.00 United States Postal Service 0 lbs, 7 oz (Priority MailĀ®): $4.90 Total: $14.90

The crazy thing is, the new album - described by our own Toby Cook as "Apocalypse pop" - actually does warrant this sort of discombobulation. Vanitas will be reviewed in Toby's next column and we'll be featuring a new interview with Dave Hunt from the group early next year.

In the meantime however: "STICK MY HEAD IN A FUCKING CANNON AND SHOOT IT INTO FUCKING OUTER FUCKING SPACE!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrakh!!! Anaal Nathrak!!!"

Vanitas is out now in the UK and on Tuesday in America