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Oasis Split. Nation Rejoices
John Doran , August 29th, 2009 05:40

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Fat handed rock lummoxes Oasis have finally been put out of our misery after splitting up yesterday (Friday).

The band, responsible for one good album, one alright album and a lot of cunting misery on top of that have split up five times before due to constant squabbling between the band's chief song writer Noel and genetically 'curious' singer, Liam.

The statement was made on the band's official website. Noel said: "It's with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight.

"People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.

"Apologies to all the people who bought tickets for the shows in Paris, Konstanz and Milan," he added.

Earlier it was announced the band had cancelled their second gig in the space of a week because of "an altercation within the band". Rumours at the time of publication that the brothers had fallen out after a heated debate about Jacques Derrida and the death of the author with Noel subscribing to a hard line Plato/logocentric position with Liam unable to convince him of the need to consider "fookin' Roland Barthes" remain unconfirmed.

They had been expected to play the Rock en Seine festival in Paris, but fans at the concert were told by the support band that Oasis would not be performing.

Many of the crowd thought it was a joke - until screens at either side of the stage showed the message "as a result of an altercation within the band, the Oasis gig has been cancelled".

The mood in the Quietus office is obviously a sombre one of grief and reflection:

As a mark of respect John and Luke will be walking round all weekend in leisure wear like they've just shat an anvil.

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Ash Akhtar
Aug 29, 2009 11:17am

HOW DARE YOU?! Apart from The Libertines, The Stone Roses and The Beatles, Oasis were one of the finest bands this country has ever created. I mean, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Cream - they're all shit on Liam's shoe. Shocking article (though I do quite like The Pogues). A pox on you all, I hope you get lots of hits cos it's ace news. I'm off down the pub! x

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John Tatlock
Aug 29, 2009 11:27am

I think you're not considering the full implications of this news. As far as I am aware, the band have not actually split, but simply lost it's only half-way tolerable member. I fear there are new and special horrors in store for us all.

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Patrick Kelly
Aug 29, 2009 12:26pm

I love British music critics: So willing to shit on the one thing that made them proud to be British in the last 20 years. Can't be miserable if you're happy and we can't have that!

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John Doran
Aug 29, 2009 12:53pm

Oasis made me proud to be British?

What in fuck's name are you dribbling about?

Dude. Get a grip. We love British music; hence the mad love for Mogwai, Factory Floor, Robert Wyatt, David Bowie, Joy Division, Morrissey, The XX, Roots Manuva, A Guy Called Gerald, World Domination Enterprizes, Godflesh, Suede, The Prodigy, Martin Carthy, Micachu and the Shapes, Girls Aloud, Part Chimp, the Cocteau Twins, Wild Beasts, Radiohead, Dizee, Gary Numan, The Fall, Aphex Twin, Judas Priest, the Rolling Stones, Gang of Four, British Sea Power, Motorhead, PiL, Dub Syndicate, Burial, Manic Street Preachers, Sugababes, Coldcut, Art Of Noise, ABC, Klaxons, Throbbing Gristle, Cabaret Voltaire, Earl Brutus, Mary Chain, 808 State, The Slits, Gerry Mitchell, Teeth Of The Sea, Electric Wizard . . . and they're just bands I can remember we've written about in the last few months off the top of my head.

Just not Oasis I'm afraid. They were alright up to a point when they started but went awful really quickly - exactly because of Noel's inability to keep control of his creation. But more of that later.

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Patrick Kelly
Aug 29, 2009 3:59pm

I guess I saw the 90s in the UK differently from over here in the US. That was the vibe I got.
But to go this revisionist history route and act like they were complete garbage after a certain point is rubbish. Though there were certainly some lean years between "Morning Glory" and, say, "Don't Believe the Truth", there was always something useful in what we did get. Your own site posted a tremendously positive review of the last album.

I always got the impression that the fact that they were one of the few British bands that made any waves outside of the UK was some point of pride (perceived inferiority complex in regard to the overbearing hegemony of American media/culture and all that). Not saying I agree completely with said hegemony but, again, that's how it played here in the US.

I guess I've always been a bit befuddled and, at the same time, impressed by the tendency of British music press to so quickly turn on musicians while at the same time still covering them so voraciously.

I seem to have lost my way here a bit...

I guess I've just always found value in the music they put out, even during said lean years. I have the normal fan tendency to lash out at opinion instead of saying, as I perhaps should have, "Well put, but I think you're wrong."

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Barry James McCarthy
Aug 30, 2009 2:14am

I'm really not surprised by this moronic style of journalism anymore. If it's not Jeremy or Jemima at the NME it's a J & J at another publication. Liam does come across as a gormless fool but he is a good singer and had an undeniable quality. Noel however is a sharp, witty individual who is enormously talented. The first 2 albums were magnificent as were the last 2 albums and yes they have released some clunkers, but this utter lazy, elitist style of journalism has to stop. Who is next on the hate list Radiohead? Arctic Monkeys? Or is there an up and coming band that will amazingly turn crap when they become successful? I would hope that Oasis fans would admit that not everything the band has done has been brilliant, this capricious approach to journalism may tend to put Oasis fans in an instinctual blind defensive state. There are too many great songs of Noel's to list to prove why you are wrong and why those songs will go down in history as being influential and magnificent. They are not all deep, but neither is that vile Tory Gary Numan that you list in the otherwise valid list of "British" artists you like. And by the way, who gives a toss what nationality the artist is, we are all equal without pandering to pathetic, pointless nationalism.

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John Doran
Aug 30, 2009 9:10am

He comes across as a gormless fool because he is a gormless fool.

As for this false war of the classes - drop it. I'm from Liverpool, my dad worked shop floor in a furniture factory his entire life, I went to a sink estate school, that got knocked down the year I left. I also spent a good twelve years working in factories and behind bars myself before becoming a writer.

Liam on the other hand moved straight from his mam's house into Patsy Kensit's multi-million pound urban pile in Primrose Hill.

Oasis adoration provides vicarious prole thrills for the middle classes and deepens the paraiah status of anyone truly working class with a brain amongst their peers. John Tatlock's excellent piece on the Stone Roses pins down exactly what I'm talking about.

Noel is indeed a fantastically witty and inventive guy but *he fumbled the ball*. Oasis could have been great but they ended up an absolute torrent of shite. If you think we should be celebrating that then that's your problem.

When he joined Rain he told the others that they had to do exactly what he told them and if they did, he'd make them famous.

It's dead fucking obvious when this stopped happening - around the third album. All of Noel's ideas about hip hop beats, dance culture, hanging out with the Chemical Brothers and Goldie went straight out the window in favour of retarded terrace slurry pub rock.

And as for Gary Numan? Well, yeah, he voted Tory once in 1979 and then never again. As did Lemmy. As did Paul Weller. That's the thing about landslide victories isn't it? They tend to sweep everyone up in them.

As with Tony Blair - war criminal, liar, American imperialist lap dog - in 1997, whose cool Britainia status was helped along by a certain photo session of Noel at number 10.

As for the nation of these artists - if you don't think that Britishness or ideas of Britishness are important to bands like Morrissey or British Sea Power or The Specials or Dexy's or Robert Wyatt then I'm not really sure what to say to you.

Just don't compare the groups that I've mentioned to the seaside postcard idiocy of Oasis or The Libertines.

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Mecha Godzilla
Aug 30, 2009 10:01am

Can we all get this in perspective please? This is starting to get a bit like when Robbie left Take That but with grown ups.

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Pat Garrett
Aug 30, 2009 11:35am

I don't have much to add to this as I stopped buying Oasis records in 1997, but I always found Noel to be genuinely witty and honest, and I remember seeing Oasis support Verve at the Queen's Hall in Bradford in December 1993 (to a crowd of about 150), and they were just magnificent. You could see that fame and riches beckoned. The world will be a slightly poorer place without them.

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Johnny Nothing
Aug 30, 2009 12:17pm

Funny, funny piece. Truth is, I don't much care either way. The first album is all anyone need bother with.

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Patrick Kelly
Aug 30, 2009 1:25pm

I'm going to agree with JD on a couple of points here and make a couple of my own:

1. Liam, while a fantastic vocalist, has always seemed not ready for prime-time. My mind has always boggled when I've seen him interviewed, because it was clear that the singing was about it for him: there was very little else going on in his head. I was never able to reconcile what came out of his mouth when there was no soundtrack to what I heard on record. It was a beast that needed controlling.

2. Noel DID lose control of the group and it was its undoing. There's no way a group could get as huge as quickly as they did without come collateral damage. Explosions are funny that way. The group probably would have been better served, and BETTER, if Noel's, as JD said, ideas about hip hop beats and dance culture had stayed on the sidelines or in solo works while the Oasis stuff stayed with Oasis.

3. Again, speaking as on observer from the US, the point about "Britishness" for me was refreshing as I think there's value in a musician representing something about where they are from and the heritage of that, instead of just aping the US offerings (Hello Bush...). That's what brought me to the music coming out of the UK in the first place. I enjoyed the perspective of a different place. Yeah, good music's good music regardless of national origin, but it's a big world and it's nice to see a different perspective. You got that in the 90s (and all the bands that JD listed that were active in the 90s would have made ME proud that we had something uniquely ours, that spoke to our sensibilities, were I British). There's nothing at all wrong with that.

4. To reiterate: Yeah they lost their way a bit in the late 90s - early 2000s, but there's no reason to discount EVERYTHING. Very few groups can last as long as Oasis did, with 7 studio albums, and have it all be golden. Especially considering the 3 albums worth of good, many times great music, that we got with "Definitely Maybe", "Morning Glory" and their collective b-sides. Aside from the Beatles, show me one group that released front to back quality on every album. It just ain't happening (and don't start to blather on about Radiohead, because we all know they lost the plot with "Amnesiac"). The fact is is it's not black and white: it's not EITHER great OR shit with anyone. The rush to turn a clever phrase frequently eclipses the duty to tell the story fully.

5. In the end, the story of Oasis was written well before this break-up (which I believe is, as always, temporary). They should and will be remembered as an important act in world popular music history. If we are willing to aurally masturbate over the only 1/2 good (with one timeless single) La's album (which, to my ear, gets less good each year), then Oasis deserves induction into the pantheon of British music on the strength of their first two releases. What came after doesn't negate the quality of that, nor the crystallization of a moment in time when everyone, it seemed, was singing the same song. THAT is worth something.

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jonny mugwump
Aug 30, 2009 7:23pm

i simply do not understand this- they were fucking terrible, i mean REALLY REALLY bad- the thick one just shouted some crap, the thick one who was a bit witty wrote the shite for the thick one to shout and the other thick ones made some sounds and it all just sounded like status quo throwing up. and then everyone went mad and thought that this was what was meant by the term working class.
they had union jack guitars- UNION JACK- they were jingositic cod-racist staggeringly inept and goddamn ugly as well. and smug oh my sweet jesus thank god they've split up- i mean tatlock's right and it will probably get worse but if it gives everyone a chance to slag off the dim-witted skiffle morons then that can only be a good thing.

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Mecha Godzilla
Aug 31, 2009 12:49am

This needs to be put in context, the next generation buying Oasis albums would be like this one Slade or the Sweet from the 70s as an example of what was happening in music of that period. Oasis were at best good pop (in the way bands with guitars can be pop) with just enough overdrive for men to still feel like men while singing along to it. They were never rock and roll they said they were, they never edgy way like The Stooges or The Faces, they were always retro, always 'classic', never in the red, never forward looking and event their best work has aged badly.

And as for them having not having every release be of great quality, an admission I've heard from a lot of Oasis fans this weekend while telling me how great they still are, just doesn't work, a truly great band should have released at least more great music than they have bad music, them's the rules. If you went to see a film and the first twenty minutes were good but then the next seventy were mostly awful then you wouldn't say "I've just been to see a great movie", you'd say "I've just sat through Tony Scott's Deja Vu".

As for Patrick Kelly's "They should and will be remembered as an important act in world popular music history", I'm going to have to disagree, in a world where there is and was Miles Davis, Bach, Kraftwerk and Talking Heads, then something will have to give, standards will have to be a little higher, Oasis never changed a thing.

But on the flip side some of this celebration seems a little over the top, Noel's just left the band, this in itself is not the destruction of head-lad-rock-vampire which would result in his disappearance and all copyists and minions going with him. There is no new musical dawn coming in from the east. If anything this paves the way for at least two solo albums of navel gazing while treading water beneath the 'classic songwriting' banner.

I don't think that there's much of a victory to gloat over for those of us who like to think ourselves fans of 'serious' music.

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Richard T
Aug 31, 2009 12:18pm

If only they'd split permanently after the first album then they might have retained some vestige of credibility. However, the tiresome combination of Liam's dimwitted arrogance and Noel's musical fundamentalsim (don't try and tell me a couple of "hip-hop styled" loops and a few samples constitute cutting edge music) quickly palled. As for the ridiculous Beatles comparisons, the fab four constantly innovated throughout their career assimilating ideas and sounds from every type of music, if they were around now I'm sure they would be using every kind of technology available to make their music, not sitting around trying to replicate the sound of 1966 as Noel, Liam, Rick, Bruce and the former drummer from The La's seem to be.

Goodbye (I hope) lads, you had a good run for your money and you made the most of it. I'm sure Noel will move onto something new and challenging, maybe a supergroup with Paul Weller and Johnny Marr.....

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Jon Doran
Aug 31, 2009 2:52pm

Briefly... Mecha Godzilla hits t'nail on t'head. Oasis are this generation's Slade. Except... Noddy Holder has always seemed like a decent, erudite chap & The Gallaghers are just a couple of wannabe-thugs (with bodyguards OBVIOUSLY). "Two great albums" (Revolver & The White Album?) aside, my lasting memory of Oasis will be gormless Liam getting his teeth knocked out in Munich by a couple of irritable Mafioso. Oh, how we laughed...

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amanda farah
Aug 31, 2009 2:54pm

Does this mean Andy Bell can go play in a decent band again?

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Francis Callanan
Sep 1, 2009 2:24pm

Well said Amanda! Hanging out with that pair of miseries has had an awful effect on young Andy. Perhaps now he will return to crafting some of the extraordinary sounds he was responsible for in his youth, bringing with them a glimmer of happiness to his increasingly furrowed brow.
Saw them recently across the pond, the show before Noel got knobbled in Toronto - can't help feeling the guy picked the wrong brother - and while it was great to hear some of the tracks that made them so exciting all those years ago, couldn't help feel they were all simply going through the motions, with Andy sporting the look of a man playing at a wake for someone he didn't much care for.

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Kev Boyle
Sep 4, 2009 8:34pm

There are many people who do not like the music of Oasis. Fair enough. There are also those who don't like Oasis for who they are. How dare a bunch of scallys bulldoze their way to fame and fortune, they don't even have a good education. It's a massive jealousy. N.B. I'm not saying the author is of this opinion.
Nobody will dispute that Oasis have been living off former glories for 10 years, but they STILL are more popular in this country than any other band. They don't deserve this people will shout! What about this band, that band? These nice boys with their unoffensive (read boring) songs and their nice pointy shoes and tight jeans should be given a chance! Well, this is because the 1st and 2nd albums of Oasis are better than anything that anybody has produced since. And by some distance. If I’m wrong I want specific examples of fantastic albums and a lot of people to agree with it to prove otherwise.
The Gallagher brothers have an edge, they are not boring, people relate to that. All those other bands around just now, most people couldn't even tell you who the singer is. These bands will fade into obscurity with a couple of average albums behind them, but the critics love them. Why? I don’t know.
Now if the Nation was truly rejoicing at the split then why would Oasis be selling out STADIUMS all over the country all year long? Don't you get it? People WANT to hear those 1st 2 albums, they can't get enough of them. If that irks the critics then they can fuck right off. That's life. It's up to someone else to come along and write songs that will live forever too. It's up to someone else to come along and make us FORGET Oasis. It’s up to someone else to come along and make us EXCITED again. That was what they did. They took a dull shitty music scene in a time of depression and unemployment and kicked it up the arse. They became what The Stone Roses should have become.
There are a lot of good bands out there, they have some good songs but they are nothing special. I WANT new heroes but I can’t find any. Oasis gave you the whole package. We LOVE hearing scandal, the arrogance, the funny interviews and the silly behaviour. You get so used to the robotic responses of everyone in the media now, scared to offend anyone, that when someone comes along and says what they want you can’t help but like them. Then when they throw in 2 sensational albums on top of that, my god, that’s dynamite. And it was dynamite.
Oasis had "one good and one alright album" is not true. Definitely Maybe is as good a debut as you'll EVER hear, it's up there with The Stone Roses, Led Zep I and better than Please Please Me to name a few (and The Beatles walk on water as far as I’m concerned). You never get tired of hearing the songs. Pub rock? Get a grip. Maybe if he threw in some F#7dim9 or Baug9sus4/7 with a triple pike would that make it higher quality music? No…nobody gives a fuck. Does the song touch your heart and soul…yes.
Now to say Morning Glory is "alright" is just ridiciulous. Don't Look Back In Anger, Wonderwall, Cast No Shadow, Morning Glory, Some Might Say and Champagne Supernova are wonderful songs.
Then there is The Masterplan. Another fantastic album. This is B-sides remember! B fucking sides! The quality of The Masterplan, It's Good To Be Free, Aquiesce, Talk Tonight, Half The World Away. Listen Up, Rockin’ Chair, Fade Away are utterly masterful songs. Remember again…these are B-Sides!! If any modern band and I mean ANY, has an album half as good as this I’d be surprised. Again I want examples. If people slag off Oasis I want proof.
The problem for Noel was he was always going to be compared against those first albums. Tough task. Yes, the 3rd album was the killer. A bag of shit by his own reckoning. What has followed has been very disappointing too, the odd great moment still exists but largely not anywhere near good enough. But you can’t get away from the first 2 albums plus The Masterplan plus the live gigs that I haven’t even mentioned. They were that good.
I find it harsh when people just start sounding off when it is so untrue. It’s like snigger snigger told you they’d collapse! Ha ha…scallys. 10 years too late!! Blah blah. Why have this attitude? You should be happy that you lived through this era when rock n roll was brought back to us and music was revitalised, especially now with the way the music scene has gone. I doubt if we’ll ever have another British band make such an impact again. A good author will state his opinion and back it up with fact. If he is heavily in favour of one viewpoint then fair enough but not without considering the other viewpoint too, especially when the evidence sits firmly in the corner of Oasis.

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John Doran
Sep 5, 2009 12:23pm

"F#7dim9 or Baug9sus4/7 with a triple pike"

In 17/16 time? AIIIEEEEEEE! I've just sprayed my shorts.

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Mecha Godzilla
Sep 6, 2009 4:24pm

In reply to Kev Boyle:

You described them as 'rock and roll'? Rock and roll was a musical form that never got past the early 60s.

Oh, good point.

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Dameon Alburns
Dec 1, 2009 8:44pm

In reply to Mecha Godzilla:

Noel - well done. At last, should have left years ago. Looking forward to some quality solo shows and hearing the old B-sides again. Definitely the best songs he wrote. As for Liam - will be good to hear what dross he records next.

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Apr 13, 2010 4:14am

This is diagusting. this sight is disgusting. you pay out oasis you pay out the stones, Beatles, stone roses and the jam all bands that I like and all bands that had a heavy influence on oasis. Go and get some credibility before you write another article

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John Doran
Apr 13, 2010 10:32am

In reply to :

You should have the vote taken off you, you dimwit.

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May 7, 2010 12:48am

In reply to :

I couldn't even decipher that rubbish (the last comment, by the nameless person, not the article.) Though I like Oasis (at the very least the first two albums) and think the article is a bit over the top, I definitely see where Doran's coming from. They weren't as important as some fanboys make them out to be. They did give guitar music kind of a kick in the ass, but they didn't start Britpop (Suede did,) and Blur were second. The irony is whenever the stadium full of fanboys get defensive about someone slagging off Oasis they start slagging off "nerdy indie bands", not even realizing that they're slagging off The Smiths, without whom there probably wouldn't be an Oasis. Popularity alone doesn't make you the best, people. Though I like The Libertines' first album as well, Doran.

Two cents from an Englishman in New York, coming back to the UK this summer. P.S. Have Liam, Gem and Andy come up with a bandname yet? It's possible their album will be more popular than Noel's, but if I had to bet I'd definitely say Noel's will be better.

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Aug 9, 2011 10:27am

Some time ago, I really needed to buy a good car for my firm but I didn't have enough cash and could not order anything. Thank heaven my fellow proposed to try to take the credit loans at reliable creditors. Hence, I did so and was satisfied with my commercial loan.

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Mar 19, 2017 11:59pm

How funny it is to watch you licking Noel's arse these days in interviews.

You have the most monotone fucking voice ive ever heard too. Twat

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Jun 23, 2017 11:41pm

What a contrived load of bollocks given how you have kissed both Noel and Liam's arse in the Noisey Masters videos

...Your journalism is the worst,

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Jun 26, 2017 6:04pm

In reply to John Doran:

Your interviews with the Gallagher Bros for the British Masters would have been a lot more interesting if you actually told them what you really think of them.

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