Banished cleric Abu Hamza yesterday got behind art metal heavyweights SunnO))) by raising the metal claw.
This unexpected move has answered the question that international statesmen have been asking themselves since the start of the Great Game in Afghanistan in 1838 – Do battle-scarred and partial cyborg, fundamentalist Sunni preachers love drone metal?
The answer, it seems, is yes.
Hamza (real name Mustapha Kamel) raised a metallic claw skywards yesterday in the traditional inverse manner. (A manoeuvre that represents the crescent moon of Islam.)
Speaking from his high security cell he decreed: "I am not overly fond of the music of SunnO))), it is loud like the explosions of a thousand martyr’s veils simultaneously praising Allah.
"But this is not to say I do not enjoy ‘ambient metal’ – which I find to be preferable genre nomenclature to the unweildy ‘metalgaze’.
"Before prayer, I like to get into the zone by listening to ‘Hibernaculum’ by Earth or sometimes even ‘Ordo Ad Chao’ by Mayhem.
"But it is nice to see two devout and young Muslim women like SunnO))) making devotional music."
But he was keen to add: "Most of the time with their extra thick and baggy niqab they are very modestly dressed and I approve of that.
"But sometimes they dress a little bit too sexy. I would prefer it if they would wrap their cloaks tighter, more like a burqa than a hijab. At one point during the recent Grimm Robes shows their attire was scandalously skimpy.
"At one point I’m sure I could see the neck of the really hot one with the beard. I could barely contain my arousal."
