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Viva Brother Invent Time Travel!
John Doran , August 24th, 2011 12:40

Hear a tale of ether warped by "infinitely long rods"

Gritpop group Viva Brother have invented time travel and plan to journey into the future where sophisticated people in white robes and gold headbands will find it easier to understand their radical sonic vision, it was revealed today.

The 478th most popular guitar band in the UK who are famed for their hardline feminism and militant veganism also take a keen interest in quantum physics and built a time machine in Len's brother's garage out of bits salvaged from a metalic mustard Toyota Celica and a white 1999 Ford Fiesta Zetec.

They were so made up with the home made TARDIS that they wrote a song in its honour. 'Time Machine' will be released as a single on September 26 via Geffen Records.

A source close to the band said: "Len is fookin' well made up with it. It's hard to explain really but if you get an infinitely long rod spinning in low orbit at close to the universal constant you can create an opening in the fabric of space time.

"Normally this kind of gravitational pull would tear Earth to pieces and we'd be fooked but luckily Len made some colossal galactic dampeners out of a broken jet ski he picked up for a song from some Croydon geezer advertising in LOOT."

Apparently their first journey in the time machine didn't go quite according to plan however. Frank from the band explained: "We set the controls for 2035 and got out to be confronted by four strange looking figures speaking in this well mad futuristic accent. We were about to play them our album Famous First Words but then we heard this mad fookin' music they were playing on long black space boxes and Josh shat in his pants so we had to come back home.

"There must be a malfunction in the time machine's read out system though as it said we hadn't been to the future at all but back to somewhere called the Kling Klang studios in 1974."

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