The Quietus currently has a sore left ear brought on by the fact that we were standing next to Elbow's string section at the moment the corpulent Mancunians won the Mercury Prize.

Elbow were the surprise winners at the ceremony, held in London's swanky Grosvenor Hotel... that smells of fish and the elderly. In their acceptance of the nomination for the prize Elbow had done the traditional 'thank the team' speech, leaving them sounding rather gobsmacked and emotional when they actually won the thing. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to us," said frontman Guy Garvey. "We'd like to dedicate this award to Brian Glancy, one of the greatest men who ever lived. Thank you very much and have a top evening!"

Jools Holland hosted the event with his usual bonhomie and embarrassing dad humour, and The Quietus was rather startled to see one of our former bosses tottering about the place in his capacity as Shadow Minister For Culture. Cripes & Jivens!

British Sea Power played a fine rendition of 'Waving Flags', with the pipes of the London Bulgarian choir adding backing, and afterwards were full of enthusiasm about last weekend's 'Sing Ye From The Hillsides' festival at the Tan Hill Inn. Cheeky Monkey Alex Turner could be seen pottering about the place with his supermodel missus, and The Quietus gleaned much amusement from watching lots of haggard middle aged men of the music industry imbibing too much free wine and then falling up the stairs / kicking bins / knocking tables over / drooling over pneumatic interns in fancy frocks.