This afternoon the internet crawled to the pace of a splinter-hoofed cart horse on the way to the knackers yard. Some speculated that it was the release of Lady Gaga's new video forcing us all to return to the days when the internet made that wrgggsprrrrrgjeeeee sound every time you needed to look at some bongo. Anyway, the new video for 'Alejandro' features handsome men in fishnets and sinister uniforms brandishing guns: all very good, camp, and Euroboy (not the Turbonegro member). In fact, up to the two minute mark it could have been a Laibach promo, but then becomes Eurocheese (surely Laibach are Eurocheese of a sort - ED). At the end, Gaga has machineguns poking out of her breasts, which is more Austin Powers meets Rammstein.

HEALTH, meanwhile, promo 'USA Boys' with a 'hipsters like go like crazy in a like totally awesome warehouse space and smash shit up and like get totally hot and naked and like fuck' shtick. Watch that one: