The Quietus - A new rock music and pop culture website

Film Reviews

Cinematic Santas - The Least Convincing And Naughtiest Santas on Film
The Quietus , December 18th, 2008 09:51

In the spirit of humbuggery, The Quietus looks at some of the worst excuses for Santa ever to disgrace the silver screen, and provides Top Trumps-style stats on their performance. Whether they're slightly implausible or just plain evil, this bunch is a disgrace to the ruddy uniform.

Add your comment »

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..." Wait, though, who's that straggly bearded old scrot with vomit down his front, licking his cracked lips with a tongue the colour of mustard as he struggles to get his corpulent form down your chimney in search of a bottle of sherry? No, we don't mean The Quietus' editor. Cinema has thrown up a curious array of Father Christmases over the years, but there's been a common thread running through the Saint Nicholas' of cinema and televion. Writers have, ahem, polarised their Fathers Christmas between the jolly old cove who's as saccharine as the Coca Cola advertising that inspired his modern incarnation, and a trangsressive, subversive old creep. The Quietus, naturally, heaves its sack alongside the second crop, and decided to honour our bearded brethren as their fart, curse, drink, smoke, grumple and grope their way from Lapland into the bedrooms of your broods. Click the image below to see the wrongest Santas cinema has to offer.

Badsanta_1229606708_resize_460x400



we
Sep 17, 2011 6:11am

cheap designer clothes

Shoes wear well

cheap designer purses

Beautiful voice

nike shox r4

Buy more get more

cheap designer purses

Discount with you

chanel online shopping

Come and see

coach outlet

We all have a lot of

coach outlet

Final clear out

chanel online

Boys can also

louis vuitton outlet

Very cute

coach stores

louis vuitton outlet Ladies choice

gucci outlet

This village does not have this shop nioce

louis vuitton outlet

Affordable fair

lv outlet

Shoes and bags are

gucci outlet

Sexy rank

chanel outlet

Men's choice

coach outlet

With good

prada outlet

Family look at Ah

replica louis vuitton

The tide online

coach outlet handbags

Beautiful Kingdom

chanel outlet

Very nice, very beautiful

Wholesale NFL Jerseys

Discounted processing

cheap nike air max

Young people the beauty of heaven

puma shoes

Clothes look good

Reply to this Admin

wewe
Sep 17, 2011 6:20am

cheap designer clothes

Shoes wear well

cheap designer purses

Beautiful voice

nike shox r4

Buy more get more

cheap designer purses

Discount with you

chanel online shopping

Come and see

coach outlet

We all have a lot of

coach outlet

Final clear out

chanel online

Boys can also

louis vuitton outlet

Very cute

coach stores

louis vuitton outlet Ladies choice

gucci outlet

This village does not have this shop nioce

louis vuitton outlet

Affordable fair

lv outlet

Shoes and bags are

gucci outlet

Sexy rank

chanel outlet

Men's choice

coach outlet

With good

prada outlet

Family look at Ah

replica louis vuitton

The tide online

coach outlet handbags

Beautiful Kingdom

chanel outlet

Very nice, very beautiful

Wholesale NFL Jerseys

Discounted processing

cheap nike air max

Young people the beauty of heaven

puma shoes

Clothes look good

Reply to this Admin

w
Sep 17, 2011 7:24am

cheap designer clothes

Shoes wear well

cheap designer purses

Beautiful voice

nike shox r4

Buy more get more

cheap designer purses

Discount with you

chanel online shopping

Come and see

coach outlet

We all have a lot of

coach outlet

Final clear out

chanel online

Boys can also

louis vuitton outlet

Very cute

coach stores

louis vuitton outlet Ladies choice

gucci outlet

This village does not have this shop nioce

louis vuitton outlet

Affordable fair

lv outlet

Shoes and bags are

gucci outlet

Sexy rank

chanel outlet

Men's choice

coach outlet

With good

prada outlet

Family look at Ah

replica louis vuitton

The tide online

coach outlet handbags

Beautiful Kingdom

chanel outlet

Very nice, very beautiful

Wholesale NFL Jerseys

Discounted processing

cheap nike air max

Young people the beauty of heaven

puma shoes

Clothes look good

Reply to this Admin

coach outlet online
Sep 28, 2011 6:29am

I heard of coach outlet online through the advertisement when I was shopping. And now I often brow the webpage and buy Coach bags online.Designs of this season give you the unlimited cool feelings in this cool summer. The new designs of Coach products in the coach outlet enrich our daily life.Despite their age gap, coach outlet store online of Coach and Ellis have several shared interests:they both like the Midnight Riders, Jimmy Gibbs Junior and Whispering Oaks Amusement Park.

The black bag from the coach outlet online adds the new design that you may love it! Find more new arrivals that you like.Customers who shopped for this product are also eager to purchase Coach Poppy Swing Brown, which is also welcomed in our coach coach outlet store online.Once visit, you will be unable to restrain loving it. Warmly welcome all of you to the Summer Sales Promotion on coach factory outlet.

coach outlet online own a couple of line, color, or the selected theme, it should be a good choice. It may be the place where offer the bag ladies handbag, you will be able to follow a course of education or training receives for the slim project chest strap wallet.If you are going to purchase a designer handbag for every day use, what elements you will think about?coach coach outlet store online Of course, the high quality is the initial element we should note.If you do not know design can be the most fashionable this fall, consider a glance on coach factory outlet! This summer, you have a wide range of options, because there are numerous designs, you can find from.

The most incredible knack about the coach bag of coach outlet online is that it would excellently please your minds beyond your mind's eye. For example, if you want to become the Angelina Julie, you will immediately need to wear the coach handbag around your shoulder.If you want to buy quality Coach products at lower prices, visiting coach outlet online can be your best decision.No one can deny the shopping at the coach factory outlet is satisfactory. For the low prices and good quality.

The Louis Vuitton shoulder bags win a lot of grace and market share. It can be said that the Louis Vuitton is a legend in history bags at louis vuitton outlet.louis vuitton bags generally variety within the buying price of $120.00 in order to $450.00, however they perform possess little purses as well as scarfs which are below $100.00.louis vuitton uk Outlets offer famous classic brand for LV,Channel, with perfect service.So become to the VIP soon.They offer more new styles,like LV purses,LV wallets etc. And are tested by product quality monitoring center .Here you can find the latest products in different kinds of louis vuitton purse making best materials.They are leisure practical products in the new generations.louis vuitton Outlets offer famous classic brand for LV,Channel, with perfect service.So become to the VIP soon.They offer more new styles,like LV purses,LV wallets etc. And are tested by product quality monitoring center .It is so good and attractive as a result of being made by a stylish designer or more. None can say no in front of so popular and chic louis vuitton handbags.

I am so confused that I don,t even know where to buy the louis vuitton uk Handbags. Because I can prefer to chose the fashionable design, favorable price, top service .You might have seen plenty of greatest quality bags into your entire life span but when it comes to the louis vuitton bags they are remarkably efficient, versatile and carved bags beyond your imaginations.louis vuitton handbags In the event you are actually woman who do not feature much money but chase type , you can't help falling inside love .

In Cristi ? Louboutin among new fall 2011, this accounted for much of the design. christian louboutin sale They are not boring classic style, like a gem, quietly waiting for you to enjoy its elegance, its beauty.Women in addition to the new nest for nail design,christian louboutin outlet animal pattern map Eucalyptus is one of the characteristics and lace, playing hit color, including a red and black high heels to tone has been very eye-catching degree.christian louboutin shoes is a lot of stars are like the French master of the creation of luxury shoe brand, the 09 spring and summer handbags, highlighting women's elegant, yet subdued and lovely mature sexy. Xiaobian pick several, this spring and summer, so you will love it.

Reply to this Admin

louis vuitton online
Sep 28, 2011 6:29am

if your dream is to look like a million bucks for a mere several dollars, then our louis vuitton outlet store is the Jiminy Cricket of your existence.louis vuitton bags generally variety within the buying price of $120.00 in order to $450.00, however they perform possess little purses as well as scarfs which are below $100.00.Yesterday, I saw an advertisement of lady's handbags on Louis Vuitton Outlets Online. I was obsessed by the unique decorative pattern and special appearance of louis vuitton purse.

louis vuitton bags marketed properly all greater compared to earth and earn cozy praise from customers. They are made from the finest leather and fabric.The louis vuitton online items are charming and chic. They make you feel different. When you log in,you will enjoy the coupon code for saving money.louis vuitton uk Store Online Handbags can also bring great accuracy as well as practical applicability and fashionable.

The Louis Vuitton bag is from the latest release of Louis Vuitton Bags. Its crisp, scribble material, leather handle, perfectly complements the relaxed shape of this stylish pouch. All the items oflouis vuitton borse Store fit all of your essentials and more.borse Louis Vuitton offers free and fast shipping. Usually, ships between 5-8 business days. So you do not need to wait for a long time.On establishing contact with a louis vuitton outlet hire agency, a few clarifications would need to be put to rest prior to working out a deal.sito Louis Vuitton has been voted by Hour Detroit magazine readers as the Best of Detroit in their 12th annual readers'poll.

sac louis vuitton Pas Cher You don,t need to go out of your house and wander about to find the LV Bags you like.Additionally, special discounts of the goods such as Louis Vuitton Purses are offered everyday. Hurry up!Everyone believes the fact that sac louis vuitton damier can be well-known simply because of its high quality and the lovely pattern.louis vuitton sacs Full of charming, lovely and moving Louis Vuitton Poppy Op Art Dotted Bag Black is a chic new flower design. These beautiful chics will be shown on our Louis Vuitton Online.

Reply to this Admin